TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have 10 years ago.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to. My mom is a good cook.
There are none in the humanly "down" position so low that they cannot be lifted up by entering God’s order, and none in the humanly "up" position so high that they can disregard God’s point of view on their lives.
The barren, the widow, the orphan, the eunuch, the alien, all models of human hopelessness, are fruitful and secure in God’s care.
The Divine Conspiracy.
If I had to assign chief blame for the ongoing struggle between science and religion and the resulting erosion of biblical credibility, it would be to the leaders of organized religion.
Gerald Schroeder in The Science of God, p. 9.
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
Herbert Henry Asquith
A man dies. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter says: "Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."
"Okay," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart."
"That’s wonderful," says St. Peter, "that’s worth three points!"
"Three points?" he says. "Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service."
"Terrific!" says St. Peter. "That’s certainly worth a point."
"One point!?!! I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."
"Fantastic, that’s good for two more points," he says.
"Two points!?!!" Exasperated, the man cries, "At this rate it’ll just be by the grace of God that I ever get into heaven."
"Bingo, 100 points! Come on in!"
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
Maybe it’s true that life begins at 50, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.